Don’t Blame Me

2009 November 22
by Dixie

Hulo Hyoomans, preevyusly I woz blaymed for eeting the Basil in Mummy & Daddy’s herb garden. Howeva this tym wun of Daddy’s tomato seedlings got eeten.

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Howeva as yoo can see from the fotografik evidens beelow, the vejjy garden is fensd & thair is no way I can gayn aksess to eny of the vejjy plants.

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Thair4 I desyded to take legool akshun against the ofenda’s to kleer my naym.

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snails not guilty

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Snail jail

judge-judy

Flat Nozomi

2009 November 20

Flat Tony Friday

I came across a little flat cardboard girl who is living in Japan & working as a Free Beer Promoter.

Flat Nozomi

Her name is Flat Nozomi Ohashi & she was brought to my attention by Planet Ross in his post you can see by clicking here

I thought it would be a good opportunity for Flat Tony to spend some quality time with another flat cardboard person so I sent them off for the day to have some fun. Here they are in our yard posing for a photo before heading off.

FT FN

I don’t know where Flat Tony will take her for their quality time, but I’m sure she will be safe in his care…

 blowhole

abseiling

bungee

Shark-Cage-Diving

motorbike

canal

biplane

FT FN

Some Flat Tony thrill seeker photos were from HERE & HERE

43 years ago…

2009 November 19

My Mum found one of my old Grade 2 school books hidden away inside an old photo album from when I was a kid.

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Not sure how old I was here but I figure that I was about 6 years old in Grade 2…

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I always though there were 3 little pigs, maybe the other pig dropped out in grade 1

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It still annoys me that I always missed the fairy parties. I suspect that my sister used to hide my boot-laces just so I would get the blame for losing them. Notice the teachers comment at the bottom of the page. Careless??? Lighten up lady, I was only 6 years old. I don’t remember her name but she was obviously a hard woman to please…

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I had forgotten that Dad was a Riceaholic.

I turned the page & the story about the Gay Little Flowers & the Tortoise wasn’t continued. DRATS!!! Now we will never know what happened to the Tortoise. Obviously 6 year olds have short attention spans & aren’t that great at finishing things.

How many kids in modern times are lucky enough to find a ball of wool in the drain? These days they are more likely to find used syringes. I reckon Mum later knitted me a jumper out of it.

 

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Wordless Wednesday – Space Fart

2009 November 18

fart_in_space_suit

Having a Whale of a Time

2009 November 17

I stumbled across this old news clip on Youtube & found it too amusing not to share. I don’t know if you will find it as hilarious as I did or maybe I’m just weird.

Enjoy…

New Computer

2009 November 16

It has happened. I finally got rid of the old clunker at work that has been posing as a computer & got a new one. Much faster than the one they bought 2nd hand off Noah. It even has an LCD monitor & Windows XP which is a big improvement on the old one’s Windows NT system. The old one never died, a fellow employee got retrenched so I claimed his computer like a vulture hovering over a carcass. Hey ya gotta do what ya gotta do!!!

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Cheesecake

2009 November 15

Hulo Hyoomans. The uva day. Mummy mayd a cheezkayk & I fort I wood reely lyk to eet sum ov it. So ges wot??? I herd Mummy tel Daddy to frow it owt as it wosent very nys.

Frow it owt???

Mummy sed she didn’t hav enny kreem cheez wot sho yoozyooly yoozes so she mayd it wiv yowgert & jelateen to fiken it. She sed she poot too much jelateen in it & it went lumpy & woz too sweet & sikly. I don’t no wot a jelateen is but enny way nekst fing I no Daddy just  put the hole fing eksept the bit they had orlredy eeten on the flor for me.

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It even had pashen froot & lots ov kreem on top so I just likked & likked & likked till Mummy sed “She’s had enuf Toe Knee”. I don’t no wy Mummy corls Daddy a Toe & a Knee sumtyms, she shood no his naym is Daddy.

Enny way I woz finking that I kood eesily eet mor cheezkayk wen Mummy sed agen to Daddy “She’s had enuf, don’t let her hav too much it myt mayk her sik

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Too much??? How kan yoo hav too much of a good fing???

Ennyway just to anoy me Daddy took it off me & frew it in the rubish bin. I kooda eeten mor becorz thats just waystful to frow it away. But the bit I had woz very nys, sumtimes hyoomans don’t apreeshyate good stuff.

Pee Ess: Did yoo nowtis my prity nyoo red collar??? Mummy bort it for me becorz my old yello wun was orl derty & fayded. I had a prity pink wun wen I woz a litool puppy but I got too big for it & that woz wen Daddy bort me the yello wun.

Opinion Poll

2009 November 14

Some have commented in the past that I shouldn’t call my blog “Old Fart” because I’m not that old, I’m 49…

If you think I should change the title, what Blog Title would you recommend for me???

Then there’s the problem of my URL…

Flat Tony’s Back-Yard Capers

2009 November 13

Flat Tony Friday Note: For all Flat Tony adventures click the drop down Category box in the side bar & select “Flat Tony”

After becoming familiar with the indoors of his 3D home in Tasmania (see last Friday’s post) Flat Tony checks out some blog posts then heads outside to see what’s going on in the yard.

computer

FT doggie door

Kennel

Frogs

grape vine

rodeo rider

Compost

bird bath

Sign

Later in the day I had some rose branches to shred, Flat Tony insisted on helping but I wasn’t too keen on the idea…

Shredder 1

Shredder 2

Then a bit got jammed, I think the Division of Work Place Health & Safety may have something to say about his blockage clearing methods.

Shredder 3

After a busy day he was all tuckered out & went off to bed early. However I think he may have a dispute to settle with Dixie over ownership rights to the bed…

bed

Note: He is actually lying down on Dixie’s bed although it kinda looks like he’s standing up. Must be a funny camera angle.

Suburban Wilderness

2009 November 12

Some time ago I posted about the importance of mowing before your neighbour got around to it.

survivor

The bloke across the road mowed his lawns last weekend & kinda beat his next-door neighbour to the task. His neighbour rarely mows their lawn as you can probably tell so it doesn’t take too much effort to out-mow them. Notice that he mowed part of their lawn to the tree just to highlight their slackness in lawn maintenance as he really didn’t need to mow from the left of his driveway.

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Maybe it has been declared a World Heritage area so they aren’t allowed to mow it??? I can barely remember the last time they mowed. Occasionally they cut it down with a whipper snipper & just leave it all there in an untidy mess which is a shame as everyone else in the street keeps their homes nice & tidy.

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I suspect that there’s possibly a family of supposedly extinct Tasmanian Tigers (Thylacines) that remain undiscovered living in the wilderness of Brewer Place.

Oops, that’s not one, looks like someone just painted some stripes on a dog. Here’s one here…

Tasmanian tiger

Like so many other poor creatures they were hunted to extinction by stupid men. Here is a link to the Thylacine Museum where you can learn more about them.

CLICK HERE for some Tasmanian Tiger video footage